Powerful Emotions

Some reflections regarding the past 2 emotion-filled, messed up days.

God made women creatures who are deeply in touch with their emotions, and this He saw as GOOD. He designed women to be able to relate deeply at the emotional level, to be deeply compassionate, loving, kind, merciful etc.

However, SIN entered this world and turned our emotions upside down. Because of sin, emotions triggered by insecurity, hatred, anger, envy, anxiety etc. became the norm. In my own experience, when negativity emerges from within, I can be totally absorbed by the emotions which come along with it...

Over the past 2 days, I experienced how such emotions can be crippling...for a while, I was quite lost in them.

Thankfully, the Lord reminded me... "Mind over heart", "Truth over negative emotions". In Christ, in His Word, is where security, love, peace and hope can be found.

It's a discipline of the mind...

Powerful emotions can work for you (positive emotions) or against you (negative emotions).

Yet in all this, I have to recognise that only by His strength can I overcome.

Terminal 3

Proverbs 31: 10-31 "The Wife of Noble Character"

So tough...

So many weaknesses...

So many imperfections...

Lots to learn...

By His wisdom, strength and grace...

I want to hope...

The Living Church - by John Stott

Started reading this book which I bought together with many other books. Just started....but its GOOD...and I realised why I found the church I attended in London so so fantastic =) haha...he was a pastor of the church! Praise the Lord! I wish to visit that church again.

Here's an excerpt which struck me:

"All authentic mission is incarnational mission. We are called to enter other people's social and cultural reality: into their thought-world, struggling to understand their misunderstandings of the gospel, and into the pain of their alienation, weeping with those who weep. And all these without compromising our Christian beliefs, values and standards."

TGIF =)

Yeah...finally...I am able to get some rest after a hectic week at work. Long hours...super intensive thinking processes..lots of drafting. Lots of time spent at the computer.

But I am just so thankful to God for sustaining me. For being my strength and comfort.

Before worship prac yesterday, 2 verses came to mind and my soul was refreshed immediately.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! (Phil 4:4)

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thes 5:16-18)

Praise the Lord!

Was super happy after the hearing in family court today cos I knew I could just proceed to chill out this evening haha =) Had a great time shopping and chilling out with PL. Wah..we waited for a super long time to get into Sushi Tei..guess what? They thought we cancelled our reservation, so they decided not to call us when the seats were ready. 1hr of waiting...=(...ah well..but its not their fault too lah..they were so busy. Anyway, we enjoyed ourselves..haha..just relaxing and talking and EATING haha.

Okie..I am looking forward to a good and restful weekend, and some good time with hubby..before starting work again next week! Yippee...looking forward to CNY =p

Thank you Lord!

Over the weekend

Hmm...what happened over the weekend?

Attended the church wedding of CM and JL at WEFC...hehe...the church where we held our wedding last year in August...the wedding service was short and sweet. So happy for them.

After that...went to share gp with a new friend with HR, and then off to T21 to see the adorable youths =)

Went home to receive the CG. Wah...my CG's almost like a brothers' fellowship. So many brothers...I led 2 songs "Come Away" and "Shepherd of my soul" and also shared with them what I chanced upon in Daily Bread...topic: Forgetting God. After that, WG led us in a time of BS..haha we had loads of fun learning together.

Sunday service was good. Really enjoyed the time of singing praises. Was telling WG that on my journey to T21, I was listening to a song on my MP3, almost wanted to started dancing to the music...but couldn't do that on a bus...so I decided to express myself fully during the time of worship haha =p.

Met up with Kel, WY to discuss some ministry stuff...it was a good time. Then we headed off to WG's grandpa's home for birthday party.

Had to get some work done in the night...that was quite upsetting...but RN came over for a chat and guess what, the 'chat' lasted from about 9pm to 130am...moreover, our neighbours joined in the 'chat' for a while. So fun!

All in all, it was a fruitful weekend...but a part of me is rather tired emotionally...burdened and somewhat overwhelmed...but I was reminded this morning that...God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

Super emo

Haiz...

Wasn't too happy last night...

Too emo...

Affected hubby...

Why?...

Too tired maybe...

Insufficient time to get in touch with the emotions within me...

Physically unwell...

Too many different possibilities...

Lord, please help me rest over the weekend.

Dreams...Passions...

Time flies, a week just passed by so quickly. I was just writing about M-time at Breeko last week and now I am writing about M-time this week. Hmm...don't like it when time passes so quickly...=( but what to do...

Anyway, M-time was good. Went to Holland V and had zhu2 chao3 for dinner =) and just talked and talked and talked.

Made some interesting discoveries during our conversation. We shared about our respective dreams. Hubby dreams of being P and I dream of being L. Haha =) But we also shared about mountains which we would have to climb to become P and L...

Talked about hubby's leadership in the home and my role in submission...about the both of us being separate individuals with different callings...about unity in individuality...about priorities...about making decisions as a family etc. (haha =p and I realised that I have rather wrong and warped ideas about submission...hmmm...)

All in all, it was good.

=) Oh ya, he got me an ivory rose! *Surprise* *surprise*

......Need to do some massive house-cleaning this week........

FRIENDS

Had a rather long and intensive day at work yesterday.

Been having some struggles at work...long story...basically, there are worries and fears (mostly unfounded probably, as usual).

Anyway, because of the problems at work, I have been wanting to be alone quite often, which is rather unusual for me (for those who know me well)...Wanted to go to the gym alone after work, but hubby urged me to go meet someone. Initially I was quite reluctant and I insisted on being alone...but he sort of "forced" me to find someone to have dinner with me etc.

Haha...thankfully, I listened to him and arranged to hang out with BH near our workplace =) We had an enjoyable time sharing our lives...I shared with her all my troubles lately etc...she did the same too..then we prayed together. In short, we had a great time and I was really glad we met up.

All of us desire to know and be known. God made us for relationships so that we can know and be known =) Above all, we are intimately known by Him.

"O Lord, You have searched me and You know me." (Psalm 139:1)

The battle started today!

Day 1 of the trial...started at 1020am, ended at about 430pm. Assisting my boss.

As usual, it was exciting, BUT I had to type super quickly so that I could catch every question asked and every answer given. Did not manage to catch some but boss said nevermind...phew. It was interesting watching the different lawyers in action. I am now consolidating all that I have observed, hoping that I will learn from them and put all that I have learnt into use in future.

Realised from the trial today that I have got lots to learn as a litigator.

1. Be calm
2. Interact with the judges naturally
3. Communicate with them
4. Be courageous
5. Be confident of the case

etc.......I enjoy learning from people and I do hope that someday I will be able to conduct my trials really well..haha..but I will never really learn unless i start conducting more of them by myself. Scary...got to pray for more faith and courage! Be a brave girl!

Dream dream dream...will I ever get there? =)

Anyway..been having a headache since the start of the trial..sob sob.. =(

A little baby born... =)

Yeah! our dearest mentors in US are now enjoying a new addition into their cosy family. =) I feel so so so happy for them! =) LIFE...I wonder what it feels like watching the little baby come out of her mother's womb...AMAZING i believe...How can anyone say that our Creator God does not exist? =)

I feel a warmth in my heart knowing that this little baby will be dearly loved by many many people...especially her parents. The family is the first place where she is going to learn to recognise LOVE and recognise GOD. So beautiful...how I wish all babies are born into families filled with LOVE...then they will be happy babies! =)

Took a cab home from office because I brought quite a number of bundles home. Had an interesting and meaningful conversation with the cab driver. We were talking about the hike in taxi charges and he was sharing how taxi drivers have been greatly affected. We talked about the importance of empathising with the poor and actually taking care of them. Indeed, this is so important..and I know that caring for the poor, the oppressed and the needy is something always on my Lord's heart.

May we all learn to care for the sick, the needy, the poor, the oppressed, the orphans and the widows.

Thought this week at work would be really bad...turned out pretty alright actually. All by His grace. Learning to rely on Him always at work, to take things in my stride and to face every challenge with faith and courage. Got to work quite a bit over the weekend..ah well, hope I can focus.

Dear Father, I want to draw close to You, to rest in Your love, to be encouraged by Your Word and to know that You are near. In Your presence is where difficulties don't seem as overwhelming and daunting. In Your presence is genuine peace...In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

M-time yesterday =)

Had a long and intensive day at work yesterday. Left the office at about 8pm after a long long day...but i looked forward to M-time with WG, a time to relax and enjoy each other's company.

I told myself, "stop thinking about work once you step out of the office ok?!!"

Took the train, got back home, changed into something comfortable and we headed to Holland Village. (Thank God we stay in the vicinity of Holland Village)

I was craving for waffles, crepes and ice-cream...when we got there, we looked around and compared prices (Haagen Daaz, NYDC etc). Finally, we ended up at Breeko!

We chose the sofa seats upstairs and we were served by a very nice waiter by the name DON =) Ordered Meatballs baked rice and waffles with ice-cream. The food was pretty good, save that the first serving of waffles had to be changed because there was a sour aftertaste. Oh well, it happens, but we thought the sincere waiter made a big difference! =p

Before we left Breeko, we encouraged Don for making our time there enjoyable. Haha! The manager looked kind of nervous before we stepped out, maybe she was afraid that we would complain about the waffles and give her a scolding haha! =) We just smiled and walked out.

We enjoyed M-time, and time passed less quickly when we were just relaxing.

Thank You Lord for everything.

Do u have heart trouble?

Don't worry, I am not down with a heart attack.

Sadly, someone I know was warded into hospital for suspected heart attack. He is not very old...38 this year only. He was jogging when he suddenly felt a very sharp pain in his heart. He exercises quite a bit, soccer, jogging etc. Still... =( Thankfully, he is feeling better already and just needs to see the cardiologist to figure out what's the problem)

I went to the gym yesterday...body combat...full body workout. I enjoyed it, though my heart was racing. But if felt really good working out that way.

Lately, I've been hearing news about people suffering from heart attacks, young people...apparently fit people...and I wonder why. Can heart attacks be caused by stress, anxieties, heartaches etc? maybe because they cause poor circulation in the blood vessels etc. (I am not a doctor haha, so I don't have the answer...but the bible does correlate the condition of a person's spirit with his/her health)

Singaporeans must learn to relax and spend more time building meaningful relationships. With all the depression that's going around, people are more prone to illnesses.

Some insightful verses from the bible:

"A man's spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?" Proverbs 18:14)

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." (Proverbs 15:13)

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22)

A little gloomy again...

Hmm...feeling a little gloomy again today, but this time, there isn't much of a reason...hmm..weird. Think I was already feeling gloomy yesterday.

Went for service in the morning yesterday (as usual), it was nice seeing everybody in church..a BIG FAMILY..this BIG family went to visit the 3 new properties together. When I stepped into the 3 units, I felt like there's just so much for us to look forward to and to dream about together. What plans does He have for us? We've got to wait and see and be obedient little children in the meantime.

The Fish & Co. lunch with CG after service helped...shopping at Espirit with Bihua helped a little too. "Shopping therapy"...thankfully I hardly resort to that...don't want to burn my pocket!

QT last night helped too...His Word is indeed as sweet as honey in the rock.

Woke up this morning still feeling gloomy, did not feel like working. Still don't really feel like working now, but what to do, so much work to complete. =(

One of those days when I just have little energy, motivation etc to do anything. haha

Thankfully, my dear Lord is with me and that makes a whole lot of difference. Thank You so much.

If only my brain is like a SPONGE!

Wah..ever since I returned to work, my brain has been functioning non-stop.

Intensive thinking about the cases...drafting non-stop and trying to make sure thoughts flow...

At some point, I just stop thinking and my mind goes blank...and no matter how hard I try to resume the thinking process, I just can't do it.

As I always say...Law of Diminishing Marginal Returns! (LDMR)

I know I know..it's time to take a break! I think God did not create me to think non-stop without take breaks hahahahaha!

Sometimes I hope I am at a brainless job! Seriously...then I will not find myself pulling my hair so often because of the intensity and stress...ARGH!!

Funny...=p

Back to Work!

Woke up in the morning yesterday feeling rather sian... haha..cos I just enjoyed such a long break from work etc. Wasn't easy to feel excited about starting work again. But thank God, He answered my prayer and helped me through the day. The day turned out quite well in that I was rather focused at work.

The break over the holidays was good I must say...enjoyed wonderful times with hubby, family and brothers and sisters...now it's time to get back to work and to learn to enjoy working =p haha

Was reminded of the verse that says "God's mercies are new every morning"...how true is that.

YH and WJ came over for dinner yesterday...we had a wonderful time sharing our lives with each other. Hey guys, thanks for being such great company! =)

Okie..time to face Day 2 of Working life 2008!