Candra loves to pray for her little brother

Today she prayed,

"Dear Father, thank you for joshua who wants to learn well, please cause him to learn well, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen!"

What a sweet girl

Grateful for a season of rest

After a crazy half a year, finally, we have been resting more this month and are now looking forward to our amazing holiday in the States soon.

I know very surely that God planned this rest for us because He knows how taxed we have been physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually since October last year. I am thankful that God knows us well, He knows how much we can be stretched and He knows when we need our break. He will never put us through trials beyond what we can bear. There were so many moments when we felt we were at our breaking point, but never did we once really break.

Although I know that this season of rest may be short and temporary, it's good enough for me, to be given the opportunity to recover and rejuvenate. This rest is to prepare us for even more challenges ahead of us as a family.

We are amazed at how much God has grown us over the past 6 months. We have been stretched so much, like never before but it's also through the process that many parts of His Word came more alive to us. Guess that's how it is with spiritual growth. We need the real experiences in life to test and approve of the wonders of His Word. For that, we are deeply grateful.

Although I do have my questions for God about some issues which He has left open-ended for now, I hope and trust that I can continue walking faithfully until the day He chooses to make everything clear to me. It's so easy to allow our doubts/questions/uncertainties to cause us to lose focus on worshipping Him for who He is, the unchanging "I AM".

I have learnt more about perseverance through the spiritual battles and patience through unanswered prayers and questions. When God chooses to give me no answers for a season, can I still worship Him with all my hearts and press on in giving Him glory everyday? When God puts me through pain through no fault on my part, can I still praise Him for His goodness and unfailing love? Can I still love my neighbors? When there seems to be no end to stress and challenges, with no help in sight, can I still choose to trust that He will not let me down?

It is yet another season of learning Habbakuk 3:17-19 in a deeper way:

Habbakuk 3:17-19

Though the fig tree should not blossom,
    nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
    and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
    and there be no herd in the stalls,
 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
     I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
     he makes my feet like the deer's;
    he makes me tread on my high places.

Don't expect a kid to keep secrets

Was preparing a gift for hubby this afternoon....Had to involve Candra cos she popped into the room

So I said, "Don't tell daddy ok? This is our secret! It's a surprise ok?"
Candra: Ok!! Cannot tell daddy... 

(Sometime later....)

Candra went to daddy and said: "But I cannot tell you...." (As if daddy was asking) 

So much for a kid keeping a secret..well at least she did not tell him what the actual gift was haha!

Love this

Dark Night of the Soul

It's been a long while since I posted something here..

It's because I have been going through probably the toughest season in my life so far...

Finally, I think I know what I am going through.. it started off from realizing that I have been depressed and suffering from a burn-out... then.. just 2 nights ago, I read something which really spoke to me.. and made me realize that I am probably going through what some would call the 'Dark Night of the Soul'...

I thank God for helping me realize that.. because although relief is not in sight now, I know I will get through this season with His light at the end of the tunnel...

It helps to know that He has allowed this to happen for a reason and that He has not forsaken me to darkness.

The only thing I can do now in the midst of the craziness and pain.... to lean on Him and trust Him with all my heart even when I can't see or feel a thing.

Praise the Lord.

Candra.. on the topic of marriage :)

(Candra, after attending so many weddings, is now always talking about getting married)

Me: Why are u wearing a pretty dress?
Candra: I want to get married, mummy let's get married.
Me: No, you cannot marry me, you must marry good boy boy.
Candra: Who? (went on stating some names...haha)
Me: Let's pray now for your future ok?
(After praying...)
Me: Did mama marry good boy boy?
Candra: Yes.
Me: Who is that?
Candra: Papa
...
Candra: But I cannot marry, because boy boy don't like to hold my hand. Boy boy like to walk by himself..how to marry?

(Candra, when trying to hold their hands w friends, gets refused at times.. hahaha)

Difficult season

It's been a super difficult season over the past 6 months...

Never been so tough before..

When will it be over Lord?

Joshua turned 1 today :)

My boy's one year old :) Time flies...

We did not hold any big party for him.. just simple celebrations throughout the day.

The special day started out with hubby, myself and Candra singing a happy birthday song to him when he woke up in the morning.

Then we went to church for service, and were pleasantly surprised when our pastor shared from Joshua 1:1-9! We enjoyed the sermon thoroughly because we knew God was speaking to our little one on this special day. Joshua 1:8-9 were the verses that led us to decide to name our little boy Joshua :)

^"8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:8-9)

I was so touched because I felt that God wanted to remind our little boy and us, on this special day, the destiny he has in Him. Never ever would I expect God to speak in such a manner. It's our prayer for little Joshua that he would grow up to be strong and courageous and accomplish great things for God. :)

After the service, our lovely cg bought a small slice of cake, a balloon & presents for him. Sang him the birthday song again.. though it was a short celebration, it was really fun and meaningful.

Spent some time with his grandparents (hubby's parents), we had some durian puffs instead of a cake which were fantastic.. they enjoyed playing with the 2 kiddos.. :)

Dinner was spent with some of my relatives and that was again so much fun! :)

By the end of the day, after having heard the birthday song so many times, he finally smiled when I sang it over to him again on the car on the way back home!! Though he may not have understood much that was going on, I think he had fun.

Joshua is such a sweet little boy. He has a pretty good temperament (apart from sleep time of course) and is just so fun to play with. He is a happy and active boy who loves his sister and generally feels comfortable amongst our friends and with crowds! He enjoys the company of people... just as we all enjoy his company! :) He is just lovely in his unique way... a simple and gentle boy.

He has brought so much joy into our lives and added so much colour to our family. We are so glad he is number 2 and we are ever so thankful that God blessed us with him!

We love you Joshua! Happy Birthday!

Her first personal prayer request..:)

Candra, out of the blue, made her first personal prayer request which warmed our heart...

"Mummy, please pray for me because I have not passed motion today.."

We were encouraged by that request because though simple, it displayed an understanding about prayer :)

And yes, how I wish my kids will grow up knowing that there is nothing too insignificant in God's eyes to pray about! :p

And most importantly.. to know that He will always listen.

She just wants to win! :)

Candra & 外公 arguing over the identity of a figurine in traditional

chinese costume from our hometown in China:

Candra: 这个是mummy.

外公: 不是，是太外婆。。。

Candra:不是,是mummy！

外公: 不是，是太外婆！

Candra:不是,是mummy！

外公: 不是，是太外婆！

Candra: 好！是太mummy!

Candra's sayings :)

Candra: O for playground.

Me: No, P for playground.

Candra: Old playground (there are 2 playgrounds near our place, one is new, so the other is old.

My girl and her world of technology..

C: Mummy, can I have my iPhone pls....(at that time WG was not using one yet)

C: Mummy, where is my iPad? (We don't even have one at home)

C: Mummy, I want to charge my phone. Where is my charger? Oh! Papa brought my charger to work already!

(Just this morning)
C: Mummy, let me check my email first ok?

(In the afternoon)
C: Mummy, I want to send SMS to papa ok?

My Maker speaks :)

It's been a difficult month. Been struggling with some issues and I would say super intensive emotions. Depressed etc....

Yesterday, during the kids' nap, I felt prompted to go read His Word because I knew I needed badly to fill my mind with that to fight the ongoing battle.

Not knowing exactly which passage I was going to read and without the intention of just reading whichever page I landed on when I opened the bible, I opened the bible. The page landed on a Psalm. Somehow, I was prompted to read that Psalm. As I read on, verse by verse, I knew in my heart that God was speaking. The words of that Psalm spoke to my heart and I felt identified with by the Psalmist. That kind of identification was powerful and I was led to study it in greater depth. To my amazement, I felt much much better after hearing from God through that Psalm and was immediately released from those intense emotions into the peace which He wanted to give me.

The experience of knowing that God has spoken precisely and specifically frees me. Nothing beats hearing from my Almighty Father. He has proven to me once again that He is with me and He is close-by. He is a personal God who desires to relate to us in the depths of our beings.

Psalm 34: 18

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

John 14:27

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

This song also came to me:

I Cry Out

I cry out for Your hand of mercy to heal me

I am weak and I need your love to free me

O Lord, my Rock, my strength in weakness

Come rescue, O Lord

You are my hope, Your promise never fails me

And my desire is to follow you forever

For You are good, for You are good, for You are good to me

For You are good, for You are good, for You are good to me

Candra at 30 months, Joshua at 9 months

Time flies... Candra's 30 months old and Joshua's 9 months old.

Joshua's cruising and moving around a lot. We notice that he is a lot more active as compared to Candra. We find him a milder character too... quieter... and entertains himself with toys etc. better. (Candra at the same age was showing signs of boredom very frequently... even until now haha). He is a sweet boy...and I am thankful that he is a good eater too. :) We are thankful that he is generally not too difficult a boy (guess we are comparing him to his sister here haha)...Well, we shall see.. it's hard to tell accurately at this young age... but we both feel that he has a milder personality.. :P

Candra's speaking a lot and thankfully in both languages for now.. :) She always makes us feel that she is much older than her actual age. Since day 1 actually. We kind of feel like she is advanced by 6 months or more in her brain power haha.. :p Guess that explains why she is easily bored (and this we observed since she was really young)...She needs a lot of interaction and stimulation on a daily basis (which makes my life rather tough at times)... but all in all, we enjoy her tremendously. She converses likes she's really grown up haha! At this age, she can recognize numbers 0 to 9, capital A to Z, and a number of shapes and colors. This girl has a strong personality... and tests our patience quite a bit. But well, we are still thankful that she's been growing up and learning well. She's cute.

A timely reminder

Chapter 38 from the book, "Relationship Principles of Jesus"....

"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." (Matthew 5: 44-45)

Question to consider: Have I asked God for the strength to act with love towards someone who is treating me as an enemy?

a HUGE gift from God

Here's the story:

Hubby and I have been eyeing the iMAC for a while because of the no-CPU concept.... plus we also found a super nice and slim computer table to go with that online.. :) Problem is, both of them added together = huge purchase.

Lately, we have been on this "clear the house of clutter" project.. and so the 2 items are really appealing.

Because of the amount involved, we contemplated over a long time and prayed to God honestly about our hearts' desire. We specifically asked God to give us the peace to go ahead with the purchase.

When we first thought we had to peace to purchase them online, we sat down at the computer ready to click and go. Suddenly, hubby asked me, what are we going to do with our existing computer and tables then? Haha :) when he asked me that, immediately, I lost the peace to click and go! Then I told him, hmmm...looks like we have to wait and not go ahead with the purchase yet. We do have to responsibly settle our existing tables and computer first before buying anything new.

After that, we embarked on the give everything away project :) Thankfully, we managed to give away all of them to people who either need or would make good use of them! Only after settling everything did we have the peace to click and go! :)

That's not the end of it... the beautiful table arrived 2 days ago and the iMAC arrived today :p...the funny thing was this, hubby, out of the blue yesterday went to explore an unused wallet of mine (initially thinking that maybe he could use it but thereafter realising that it was too girly.. haha...) in the hope of finding some money :P....and to his surprise, he found a cheque in my wallet!!!

Best part was this, the cheque (which has expired), is for $X which almost matches exactly the amount we have to pay for the 2 items!!!! The cheque was actually a gift to us quite some time back.

We were both very pleasantly surprised because we were prepared to be out of pocket by $X....with that cheque of about $X.... we feel like we have just received a huge gift!!!

And we both are thankful to God for leading us throughout this purchase and pleasantly surprising us this way :p

One important lesson that we learnt though...God wants us to be good stewards of everything God has given to us. We cannot just spend $ in any way we want and lead to unnecessary wastage of resources.

We feel so loved by God really... hehehe

Candra's first self-initiated prayers

The very first one that we still cannot quite understand...

Candra: Dear Father, please help me to 'tar-sher' my body, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

For mama

Candra: Dear Father, please help mama..somemore babies. (skipped the 'have' :p haha)

For her little brother

Candra saw a little puppy in her devotion book today and said she wanted to pray for the dog.

I went...errr....how do you want to pray for a dog?

Candra: Err.............Dear Father....please help didi not be scared of the dog. :) [Joshua's been afraid of our dog Farnia at my mum's place]

That was so sweet I thought :)

I know God loves me because...

I have been using a book called "100 ways to know that God loves me" with Candra for devotion.

Each day, one truth will be taught about how we know He loves us.

This is what Candra loves to say,

"I know God loves me because...God loves me :)"

That to me, is a profound statement and can be interpreted in 2 ways.

1) God's loves is such an evident fact that there we hardly need to further describe how He loves us and the ways in which He shows that.

2) Because God loves us, He will cause us to know that He loves us. Knowledge of His love is the foundation of life.

I do feel encouraged each day after our devotion time together....It's wonderful being reminded of His love.

Encouraged

This morning, Joshua was displaying naughty behaviors on the highchair while taking his solids.

Usually, as a part of training him, I would constantly remind him not to repeat the same naughty action. I would probably go something like, "Joshua, pls don't do that" or "Joshua, no, no".

Candra would often imitate me by repeating after me. But this morning, she said something different that really struck me. She said, "Joshua, please obey mama".

My girl's really growing up.. :) by saying that to Joshua, she showed me that she has some understanding of obedience. That to me is really crucial for the bible commands children to obey their parents. I was encouraged by that :p

She has also been enjoying praise songs.. what's really cute is this.. she uses, "this is my favourite song" or "my favourite song is.." on a thousand and one songs! :) haha.. well, she doesn't quite get the idea of 'favourite' huh.. haha..but it's nice to know she enjoys singing them...and I must say that it's really enjoyable listening to little kids praising God!

Putting aside her other naughty behaviours.. this girl never fails to brighten up by day with these encouraging moments... :)

Candra's understand on holy communion

(In mandarin)

During Holy Communion one sunday..

Mummy: Candra, this biscuit represents Jesus' body.. Jesus died on the cross for our sins...and this ribena drink which is red in colour represents His blood..because He bled on the cross..

Candra: Mama, I also fell down and bled and need to eat biscuit and drink ribena!

Mummy: Errr.......err.....?????

Candra wants more siblings :)

(In mandarin)

Mummy: Candra, we should pray for at least one person each day. Who do you want to pray for today?

Candra: Thinking hard...

Mummy: How about auntie KW, she is getting married and now very stressed....

Candra: No!

Mummy: Then who do you want to pray for?

Candra: For mama

Mummy: Oh.. how do you want to pray for mama?

Candra: Pray for mama to have a baby in stomach

Mummy: Haha :P ok

Candra: (Placing her hand on my tummy voluntarily)....

Mummy: (Leading her in prayer).... Dear God....please give mama, a didi (bro) OR meimei (sis)

Candra: (Repeating)...Dear God... please give mama, a didi (bro) AND meimei (sis)!