Be Strong and Courageous

When I first returned to work two weeks back, I found myself struggling with negative thoughts and a whole lot of worries. Don't quite know how to elaborate right now...basically I was in a mess...

I struggled with a lot of doubts...wondering whether going back to work part-time is "right"...worrying about Candra's development and growth...etc etc...there were many times when I felt terrible about myself and started to think that I am a bad mum etc... basically, my spirit was really down due to the negativity and doubts. It was so bad that I found it difficult to pray and I felt so tensed up.

Until 2 days back, I shared with one of the partners of my firm. She's a Christian too and a mother of 2. She's currently working part-time as well. I poured out my troubles to her. She encouraged me, affirmed me and prayed for me. After that session with her, I realised that I have been allowing the evil one to attack my mind and those negative thoughts and doubts were just lies put into my mind to discourage me.

I was then reminded by this verse,
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

God was telling me to be strong and courageous. I had to surrender all my worries and fears to Him because He is in control. He knows the desires of my heart and He is watching over Candra. As I read about how the Israelites turned their backs on God and complained even after having witnessed God's works over and over again, I felt like I was one of them. Doubting God all of a sudden after having experienced Him in so many ways previously.

It's all in the mind. I was reminded by what the speaker shared last sunday...Satan uses 2 weapons, FEAR and DISCOURAGEMENT to attack God's people. And God wants us to fight the battle by being STRONG and COURAGEOUS. If we are not careful, we will fall into the devil's scheme without realising it. That was my problem.

Yesterday, I went to my primary school teacher's funeral. He died at the age of 71 and the cause of death was heart failure. It dawned on me once again that life is short and time flies. Lately, God has been reminding me that time is precious. If we do not live intentionally for His purposes, we will easily let time pass us by with realising it. Time when lost will never return.

What's most important on God's heart? Lost souls...Broken people who need to know Him in their lifetime.

As I reflected on what's on God's heart, it dawned on me that I have been struggling over things which really only serve to distract me from what's more important. Yes, it's definitely important to take good care of Candra and ensure she's getting enough attention so that she grows well etc...but I should not let that become my primary focus and the centre of all my struggles.

What does Candra really need to see in her parents as she grows up? Kingdom-minded children are raised by Kingdom-minded parents.

"33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (John 6:33)

The struggles are not entirely over...but I have come to realise that I need to put up a fight.