Light at the end of the tunnel?

This week, Joshua seems a little more stable... naps are improving I think. At least now there is much less hard crying from him (just whines) and he does try to take longer naps. Hoping he just gets better at it. I think he is getting the idea of long naps (i.e. that there is no point crying in the baby cot and that he should just try to sleep). I am looking forward to even more stability from him, which would help him sleep through the night sooner I believe.

Although he is my second child, I still find myself rather green at this whole establishing the routine thinggie. Guess what makes it more difficult is that both my children take a longer time to stabilise as a result of their longer sleep training period and initial poor napping habits. Whatever the case, I am glad we are still persevering.. past 2 nights, he managed to just take one feed in the middle of the night...hoping it will stay this way until that feed disappears.

God taught me an important lesson as a parent. Be patient, persevere and surrender all expectations to God. I came to realise that my anxieties earlier on were largely caused by my own expectations as to when things should fall into place. Maybe because Candra's routine and sleeping through happened earlier, so I was sort of expecting things to be the same if not easier. The process turned out to be more difficult and longer this time round. The fears of chaos, hard crying in the day and fatigue caused me to keep expecting and hoping for quick results. When I finally decided to just accept that Joshua would take a longer time and yield ALL expectations to God, the anxieties and fears more or less went away. I just told myself, "persevere no matter how long the training would take, someday he would eventually learn. Accept the temporary chaos and fatigue."

I am thankful for the change of perspective. Though I am still getting interrupted sleep at night and his daytime naps and routine are not all perfect, I am feeling better than before by being less stubborn.

God's been teaching me so much about patience and hoping in Him through life's circumstances lately.

The daily devotions with Candra (using her kid's devotional) helps tremendously. Now, I will try to memorise the verse everyday to take my mind off negative thinking and I must say that the verses have helped me through each day. It's easy for a parent to think that the kid's devotion time is for the child...I have come to make those precious devotions with her my own too.. and I really do learn quite a bit, though the truths are taught in a very simple manner.

I have been trying to distract myself with other things too to help myself move away from depression. We have been inviting people over to our place quite a bit.. usually after 9pm when kids have gone to bed. I have come to realise that I do need to expend some energies elsewhere in order to be happy. :) I don't quite like the idea of just focusing on the kids, their routine, training etc on a daily basis.... drives me crazy quite easily.. haha

Well, God has been good... as always.. I know that.. and He will definitely see me through no matter how tough things might seem at the moment. :)