Injecting love into daily routines

I have been feeling so exhausted since sunday.. and still feeling exhausted now. I think it's because last week was a very tiring week.. with all of us down with a cold except little Joshua.

Whenever I feel tired, it's so easy for me to start getting stressed up and anxious over every other thing. As I mentioned in my previous blog, Candra's been starting to fight us on many many things too... (but my dear mentor's reminded me to gain the right perspective on things so that I don't take this new phase of hers negatively :) thanks dear!)...All in all, I am currently feeling not just physically but also emotionally drained.

Thankfully, God reminded me not to go 'there' (where the negative thoughts linger...).. I consciously told myself repeatedly yesterday not to start dwelling on negative thoughts.... at night, just before I slept, I decided to pick up the book I have been reading on and off (which happens to be the book our whole church will be reading together for the upcoming 40days of Love campaign).

God spoke through a simple and short chapter from the book... this is what the author said which really struck me,

"How much of what you call love has become just a habit? You do what you do today because you did it yesterday- whether bathing your kids or going to work to support your family or giving an offering to the Lord. How can you renew a love that has grown old?......................Here instead is where to begin: rediscover the attitude of love in the everyday habits of your life. You simply take the things that have become mere habit and inject love into them again....Why is this so important? Because much of life is routine. If you don't allow love to become a part of the routine of life, love will be missing from the majority of the minutes in your day." (excerpts from 'The Relationship Principles of Jesus' by Tom Holladay)

The essence of the whole chapter was this, we cannot love if we are relying on ourselves to love... we will grow tired and weary from loving... Only by relying on the power of Christ in us can we continually inject love into our daily routines.

God knew I was feeling so tired that I dreaded another day of doing everything that I have been doing on a daily basis... He knew I was wondering where on earth I was going to find the energy and motivation to love and care for hubby and kids......

When I read all that, I was comforted, not because I was suddenly strengthened physically or emotionally, but because I knew that I could face another day with his power within me and inject love into the daily routines solely because I could lean on Him.

Praise the Lord!

To tired mummies out there, remember to inject love into our daily routines... and most importantly, rely on the power of Jesus! :)

Terrible Two

Argh..Candra's just turned 2 years old a month ago..

Now I get it when people use the word 'terrible two'...!!!

She's been asserting herself even much more than before...loves to say 'NO' and 'Bu yao (no in mandarin)' to EVERYTHING... she doesn't want to wash her hands, doesn't want to brush her teeth, doesn't want to drink water, doesn't want to play with her toys, doesn't want to do this and do that.. blah blah blah.. and the list goes on.......crazy crazy..

The worst thing is this, she now fights me during her naps and bedtime... crazy amount of crying before sleep now... such a sudden change.. she used to be so good with her naps and bedtime. Hai..

But well.. I guess after reading off information on different websites, I have come to realise that I am not alone in this.

Sigh...........terrible two..!! :(

He flipped :)

This morning, I went to pick little Joshua up at 8am.. :) To my pleasant surprise, he had flipped over and he was happily sucking his little thumb.. looking so pleased. Cute.. heehee

A kid's prophecy? haha

Well, we singaporeans have been discussing lots about politics lately.. so yeap, some discussions have been on-going in my family too..

My aunt (in mandarin): Hmm..I wonder who is going to be the next Foreign minister...

Candra: PAPA!

:) I laughed my head off!

God really speaks! - Loving God with all your mind

Today was an anxiety-filled day. Many things went wrong... without giving the full details of what went on through my whole day, I would just say that the day was BAD, VERY BAD...bad because I was so drawn into my anxieties, I had intense negative thoughts, doubts and worries about the future. Those who know me well will know that I can be a pretty intense person at times. When I am hit by anxieties and negative thoughts seemingly uncontrollably (all of which can be pretty absurd), my mind will suddenly feel highly under stress physically, the muscles will tighten and tension headaches start to happen. Have you ever experienced intense anxiety which causes you to react physically? That was me for almost the whole of today...

It got so bad that when I was giving my boy his bedtime feed, I cried out to God, "Father, please save me! The stress from worrying is killing me! Please save me!" The stress and anxieties were too much for me to handle.

Immediately after I prayed that prayer, I had this thought, "Hey, stop thinking and clear your mind." I felt that I had to jump out of my worries and negative thoughts and really STOP thinking. I felt that I had to stop thinking on those thoughts, stop talking to hubby or anyone for that matter about those thoughts, and not even talk to God about those anxieties... JUST STOP, that was what came to me.

Then hubby reminded me that I need to think on God's Word and we both started talking about the verse in Philippians 4:8..the verse that teaches us to think on what is true, noble, admirable, excellent etc.....

And so I went to pick up the book "THE RELATIONSHIP PRINCIPLES OF JESUS" which our church will be going through under the 40Days of Love campaign sometime in the 2nd half of this year. Turned to Day 5 because that's the next reading.. GUESS WHAT! The chapter 'Love God will all your mind and strength' started off this way,

"Stop for a moment and totally clear your mind. What was your first thought after you cleared your mind....Or it may be worry...it may be a negative thought"

Then it goes on to say,

"To love God with all your mind, you must put God's words into your mind."

And then,

"One of the most powerful verses in the Bible for turning your thoughts to God is Philippians 4:8. I urge you to memorise this verse:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

Haha! Both hubby and I immediately went, "WOW!" That's how clearly God speaks to us huh..We were just talking about me clearing my mind and how I should turn to God's word, Phil 4:8 etc.. haha :)

I prayed, "God save me" earlier on and He answered my pray immediately!!!!! He spoke clearly that I MUST stop thinking on those nonsensical thoughts and start thinking on Him.. :) Though this is not the first time God is giving me this message, it's always refreshing to hear God speak so so so clearly and in such a timely manner. 'Timely' is the word. :)

How can anyone say that God does not speak?

He does and that's how intimate He wants to get with us. :)

God is so so so good...........!

Well..what happens after we hear God? Action must follow.. I hope that in the coming days, I will really put in good effort to focus my thoughts on Him.

Rest in Him

I fell ill yesterday and I have been feeling super tired over the past few days. Experiencing some tension headaches too and all these point to one thing, STRESS.

I am so glad I had some time this morning to start journalling and be quiet before the Lord. I tried to release my tension and fatigue through sleep, personal time and some entertainment, but I knew in my heart that true rest can only be attained in His presence. All those methods of stress relief are but temporary. So yup, finally took some time to be quiet before the Lord to pour out everything to Him... and I know I've got to do that somemore before I can truly say I am well rested.

I have been plagued with worries and fears.. been wondering whether it is 'right' to go back to part-time and home-based work...whether I am trying to accomplish too much i.e. work, family and ministry.......ministry because although I am no longer formally serving in any ministry, I wish to continue ministering to people from home... Well, being the thinker or OVERthinker that I am, I will always inevitably get myself super stressed up and tensed.......

Talked to God about things just now.. about everything on both hubby's and my plate....ultimately, we can only surrender ourselves to God's guidance on all these critical life decisions. If He leads us somewhere or to do some things, we also have to trust Him to give us the necessary strength and capacity to go through all the difficulties and stress which come along. That's life....as the saying goes, life is not a bed of roses.... but our hearts' desire is that we would not just SURVIVE through all the difficulties and challenges but THRIVE.

Both of us are being immensely stretched in all directions now that we are parents of two... but through all these, we are also learning to rely on God even more. To rely on Him for physical, emotional and spiritual strength...everyday... every moment...

No matter what, God will always be good... :)