I haven't blogged for a while cos I was just too stressed out to do so. Well, it's the same issue i.e. Candra's poor napping and lack of sleep.
I am learning to accept the way things are and to surrender all expectations over her sleeping habits and hours to God. The more I get uptight over how she is doing in this area, the more stressed out I become.
Don't quite know how to describe what I have been learning as a parent. I am still discovering the lessons which God wants me to learn at this stage. Think it's got a lot to do with surrendering of control, trusting Him wholeheartedly and accepting non-ideal situations.
I have been experiencing lots of fears as well. Fears of making unwise decisions for Candra, fears that I am not giving Candra my best etc.
I am someone who expects a lot out of myself. Guess that's why I am expecting a lot out of myself as a mother. But there are just so many things out of my control and I have so many inadequacies.
Those who know me well will probably know why I am such a stressed out mum. But well, I am learning. Learning to takes things easy, learning to have more faith, learning to relax.
God's grace is more than sufficient.
Candra is still not napping as ideally, but I think I am beginning to better accept the way things are. Afterall, children often give their parents problems in this area. I will have to continue facing the issue in the years to come, I believe. If I can't cope with the way things are now, how will I be able to cope in the days and years to come?
Candra's still the sweetest little baby I've ever known :) Although she is super active and dislikes putting her body to rest, she is still so lovable and fun to be with. She is so much more expressive nowadays and she makes cute little noises :)
I want to enjoy her and delight in her. That's so much more important than ensuring that she is getting her ideal number of sleeping hours.
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