Sleep training and Obedience training

Candra is currently undergoing sleep and obedience training.

Since Candra was about 2 to 3 weeks old, she had problems taking her naps. The confinement lady used all sorts of methods to put her to sleep, but she would always wake up. I felt so lost and stressed throughout the first month because I kept wondering what was keeping Candra from napping well and going to bed early. The first few weeks was really difficult. My confinement lady who has 15 years of experience finally told me that she "surrendered" haha :) She told me she had never seen a kid who fights sleep so much.

I cried out to God in desperation many times and asked Him for a solution to the problem.

During the first month, I thought of using the "cry-it-out" method to train Candra to acquire the skill of sleeping on her own. I tried, but Candra would cry over many cycles of 10-15mins. Instinctively, I felt that it would not work on her, so I gave up. Candra displayed a desire to nurse more, so we offered the pacifier. We thought the pacifier would be a cue for her to sleep, but that did not work too. Then we tried patting her to sleep, but that did not work too. She just kept fighting sleep.

Finally, one day, I observed her behavior and decided that if her problem was that she DID NOT want to sleep, but wanted to spend more time playing, this girl would require some discipline. I adopted a different method and started being rather firm with her. I would still offer the pacifier and offer to settle her to sleep by patting her. I would signal to her that she has to sleep by using my hand to close her eyes. If she still resists being settled to sleep, I would walk out of the room and leave her to cry for 10-15mins before going into the room again. I would repeat the same gestures until she was willing to obey and be settled to sleep (modified "cry-it-out" method).

Amazingly, hubby and myself discovered that she responds to our firm instructions. As a 7week old baby, Candra has already been spanked (lightly of course) on her thigh when she chooses to disobey. She also expressed her displeasure at being disciplined. Candra understands our instructions and communicates with us through her cries. She protests and protests and protests but we maintain our position that she has to be in the cot and MUST sleep.

After adopting this method, her napping has improved slightly. Settling her to sleep at night can still be very challenging, especially when there are guests in our house (cos she wants to play). Yesterday, she broke her own record by crying 4 - 5 cycles over 1.5hours before being willing to sleep. She DECIDED to obey and sleep at close to 11pm! Terrible for an infant at her age!

This little girl does not heed her body's signal of tiredness. She can stay alert for more than 4 hours at a stretch. Babies usually knock out by a certain time at night, but this little girl certainly has not displayed signs of knocking out. She needs to DECIDE TO SLEEP.

Through this sleep training experience, we have come to know Candra better. She is very intelligent but also very obstinate. She is very playful and dislikes being put to bed. She communicates with us through her cries and she understands our instructions through the tone of our voices. We feel that she learns primarily through communication.

Candra's cries speak a lot about how she feels. Putting aside her hunger cries, we know when she is protesting, when she is trying her luck to see if someone would just enter the room and bring her out, when she is just fussing for the sake of fussing, when she is throwing a princess tantrum etc.

Many have commented that I have a playful and fiesty little girl. That's quite true.

Through this whole experience of finding a method to sleep train her, I realised it's really important to know your child. Every child is unique and need a unique method of training. I have also come to realise that obedience training can start as early as birth. She may just be an infant but she already displays understanding.

Well, we will just keep at what we are doing, cos we have no other way. We will not resort to using a rocker or carrying her to sleep. So she just got to learn to obey and go to sleep when she needs to. :)