Candra's been doing fine for her playpen time for quite a while...but over the past few days, she's been rather clingy. She's less willing to play by herself. She cries when we walk away from her or leave her for a short moment...maybe she's going through what some people call "separation anxiety" and she's probably discovering more about her individuality. She's a lot more interactive now and more aware of her surroundings. She knows that sitting in the stroller or the carrier means it's time to go outdoors. She gets pretty excited when she sees her food etc.
Anyway, I have been thinking quite a bit about what it means to be a mother lately. Honestly, I admire those mothers who are stay-at-home mums. I don't think I can do that at this stage. On the 2 weekdays that I am at home with Candra each week, I find myself wanting to bring her out a lot and not wanting to just stay at home. I find myself feeling restless rather easily too. To a certain extent, I am thankful for the part-time arrangement during this season. The current arrangement provides me with the space to realise more about myself and what it means to be a mother. And I have come to discover that being a stay-at-home mum's not an easy task, especially for someone like me. I think it's got to do with my upbringing. I have been taught to be driven all my life, too driven perhaps. Thankfully God has stripped me off that driven-ness quite a bit over the past few years but I know there's still quite a lot that He has to do in me. I am really glad that God has blessed me with this arrangement and with the help of R at home during this season. This helps me to maintain my sanity for now so that I can be in a healthier state to bring Candra up. A mother must first be emotionally healthy and happy in order to give her child the best.
I have also come to realise that taking care a child is very physically demanding... and my body's condition is really not that great. I am trying very hard to make more adjustments to my lifestyle, eating habits etc. so that I will be better able to take care of Candra... but for now, I am thankful that I have the help of R at home...Without her help, I really don't think I can cope. Well, I've been telling myself lately to buck up when it comes to my physical health, because the family needs me. A mother must first take good care of herself before she can take care of her children.
To all the stay-at-home mums out there, keep it up! You are really amazing for being able to give to your children like that. :)
Well, both hubby and I feel really blessed... for we know that God has and is still providing for all our needs. He knows us best. We thank God for providing us with jobs which allow us to leave on the dot and stay at home on weekends so that we can enjoy more family time. We thank God for providing us with a wonderful roof over our heads. Considering the crazy HDB prices since 2007, we are thankful that God blessed us with this flat in 2006. We also thank God for blessing us with the help of R at home, she's been a wonderful help to our family. We are just so thankful. :)
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