Time really flies. My girl's almost 3 months old and I am about to return to work.
I am grateful to God that Candra has been keeping her routine pretty well. I am hoping that she will continue to keep it well after I have returned to work.
I have my worries about returning to work and I am not too sure whether the part-time arrangement will work out. Loads of uncertainties ahead of me. I wonder whether I will be home to discover that Candra has moved to a 4-hour routine (so that I can adjust her feeding times accordingly) and whether I will be home to meet her next growth spurt (which would affect breastmilk supply). I am worried that she would stop keeping her feed-wake-sleep routine when I am away from home etc. etc. etc....
But I know, I have to cast all my anxieties on God who cares for all of us. I am definitely still learning the lesson of taking a day at a time and a step at a time.
God has been faithful... very very faithful... and He will continue to be so.
Honestly, I've been living as if there is a "perfect mum" standard, when there really isn't. Which explains why I am so easily stressed out and fearful that I am not doing my best for Candra. Questions like, "Does going back to work mean I am not as good a mother? Does taking some time off for myself and leaving her at home at times mean I am not as a good a mother?" bug me all the time. But, I know I really need to let go and trust that God's grace is more than sufficient. And remember that there is really no "good/perfect mum" standard that I got to match up to.
What's most important is LOVE.
Let's hope the perfectionist me will learn my lessons well :)
1 comment:
i almost forgot you had a job!
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