A one month old baby and mother

Candra's more than a month old. Her mummy has also turned one month old as a mother.

Lots of lessons learned so far.

To all first-time mothers out there, if you do suffer from some sort of depression at the start of your journey as a mother, you are in good company. Here's a mother who has experienced and is still experiencing that dark valley of depression at times.

I would like to take some time to share what I have learned within this short one month.

1. Black and white thinking in parenting will bring one a lot of stress. Putting aside moral training, most of the things in parenting are not about "right and wrong", "black or white".

2. Every child is unique, every parent is unique, every family is unique. Advice from others and information received through books, websites etc. are all good and helpful, BUT, as a parent, you will still have to make the ultimate call based on your unique circumstance and personal assessment.

3. A parent should not compare his/her circumstances and child with that of another.

4. There should never be over-reliance on any method/concept in parenting. Ultimately, God wants us to put our complete reliance on Him for the healthy growth of the child. This will ensure that we do not give credit to any methodology in parenting but always give credit to God.

5. As a mother, my emotional, physical and spiritual health (A PRIORITY) is much more important than what I can "do" for my child in terms of training etc. If I am stressed out, depressed etc, this will affect her even more negatively. First learn to take care of myself. I am telling myself these phrases daily, "Let Go", "It's ok", "Everything will be fine".

6. God is just a prayer away and He hears our cries all the time. Pray to him about every little thing, whether it is baby's feeding, baby's sleep and trust Him (with all our hearts) to help us with everything. "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you" 1 Pet 5:7

7. Every parent has his/her own inadequacies. Nobody is a perfect parent. We must not be fearful of facing up to our own inadequacies. Instead, we must acknowledge that God's grace is sufficient for He has promised to give grace to the humble.

8. A mother who thinks too far ahead will easily worry. Day by day living is how the Lord wants us to live. To enjoy every moment of the day with the child and enjoy His mercies which are new every morning.

I am so sure that God has entrusted me with the care of Candra because He wants to do a deeper work in me. If I think that parenting is all about the child, I am wrong. The journey of parenting is so much about me, from God's perspective.

There's still so much to learn, I am sure...

I am thankful to God for sustaining me thus far.